Preparation For Leaving Home - Part 1 - Family

Wow, how time flies.... It seems like just yesterday we were taking out first steps, and now were moving on. To a life of our own. College life. To some of us, it is an exciting time, to others its a little scary. Leaving our family, some of us are 30 minutes away, others are a few states away. No matter how far you go away from home, there are a few things we all want to know. Things I have discovered, and am discovering during my journey. I hope they help you, as we all start out on this new path in life.

Family, its one of the most important things in life!
We have all heard the saying  " you never know what you've got till its gone." . Well, its true. Whether you realize it or not. You never know how much you are going to miss someone, until you don't have them nearby anymore. You will start to miss your siblings, even if you never really were close when you were young. You will start to miss them coming in your room and borrowing your clothes without asking, using your favorite perfume/cologne, or simply just being there. Even if your family hasn't exactly been what most people depict it as, (maybe your parents were hardly ever home, your sibling were always "annoying", one of your parents left, your adopted, in foster care, or something similar, you still have at least someone in your life that is a good influence, and like family to you) none the less, its still family! I am a triplet. Being a triplet is like a double edged sword. One side is completely amazing, because you have a unique bond, being were all the same age, we do everything together, and were known as "the triplets" everywhere we go. The other side, is the annoying "do we always have to wear matching clothes?", "can I go anywhere without having to bring along both my siblings?". The fight for the attention, and the classic, "who's the oldest?" question is always a technical "does 60 seconds count" debate. But I must say, "I wouldn't trade it for anything"! Being we have always done everything together, I know its going to be tough being away from my siblings. Especially because I will already be at college when our 18th birthday comes around. It will be the first birthday that we all may not be together, and the first party they will have on their own. It will be tough, but thank The Lord for Skype, I think we will survive! You can completely take away "the blow" of moving away, but you can soften it. Below are a few of my suggestions about how to prepare you and your family for your new journey away from home. I have either done, or am in the process of doing these things!

#1 Spend Quality Time With Each Family Member
 I decided to go on a "date" with each member of my family before I left. I asked them if they could pick any restaurant, cafe, coffee shop, froyo place, etc where would they go?! Obviously, your trying to keep it economical. I suggest you do this over a meal, or snack, so you have time to discuss things, instead of going bowling, or to the movies. You want time to talk, to be right across from each other, and really have a good conversation.  Frozen yogurt is a great thing, or a coffee shop."These are the moments that you will cherish". Every time they pass the place you went, they will think about those moments you spent there before you left. At the Frozen Yogurt Cafe (Menchies) my sister and I went to, they have really thick, decorative spoons that you get. I think people actually collect them. But I saved my spoon to take with me (she threw hers away before the idea came to me) and I will take it with me to college to use for my dorm meals, and coffee. I will always remember her and out special talk we had while I was there. I will cherish that purple spoon!

#2 Take Family Photos, or a "senior" style session, with sentimental items
I am blessed to have a good friend, who's mom is an AMAZING photographer (Donna Byrd Photography) . She gave me the gift of a Senior Session. "A photo is worth a thousand words" . Oh how true that saying is. A simple photograph can bring a smile to your face, a tear to your eye, or a chuckle, as you remember a special moment. I am a sentimental person, so every time I do a photography session, I use props that have significant meaning to me. I will post pics from my shoot as soon as I receive them. Some of these were memory's for my family, some for my closest friend, who I consider a "sister". There are several ways you can give photo's to your family. It would all depend on your financial situation, and how much you want to spend. You can simply email the photos, or post them on Facebook for your family to see anytime. That is the cheapest option. You can print them out, either on your home printer, or at Walmart, and put them in a simple frame that they can put on the dresser. You can go as far as coffee mugs, printed pillows, and my favorite, the printed blanket. the image is not very sharp, but it is kind of comforting to have something like that on the couch. Who doesn't like to cuddle?!

#3 Write notes to each family member
These don't have to be long. They could be a few sentences, or you could write them a letter a few pages long. I suggest doing this in stages. I wrote my first notes 1 month before the day I leave, and will do a few more before I leave in 2 weeks. I suggest leaving the first letter you wrote at home, on the day you leave. Or if your flying, or driving yourself, mail them at your local post office, so they will arrive the next day. "Your family will cherish these so much!" They will read them over and over and over! I had seen a pin on Pinterest that suggested you write a letter for each feeling they could have, example " when your feeling lonely" or "when you miss me" . I think this is more of something you could or if your an only child, if you have to do this for each member of your family, it may take a while, and you might not have the words to say for each feeling they could have, and that's ok. I am going to send my family a letter after 1 week of being away, and a letter every month while I am away.

#4 Don't rub it in!
I know we are excited to finally be getting out of the house! Were thinking about all the rules our parents have that we don't have to follow. We can finally hang and fold out clothes the way we want to, we can buy the brands we want, the scented shampoo we could use because our brother didn't like smelling like a fruit smoothie (because being triplets, we share everything!) No more fighting over which restaurant to eat at, you can pick where you want to go and when, no one to ask. Its called freedom. Sometimes freedom is a good thing, if  your very mature and not afraid to ask for advice, and wait. Patience is important. If your arrogant, and do things without thinking, you should proceed with caution. I know we don't like to accept things like "your so immature" or "stop being arrogant, listen" but sometimes we need to hear it. When you can accept those things, you will be mature enough to handle freedom. "Don't be afraid to call home and ask your parents for advice!" They will love hearing from you, and it will warm their hearts to hear you still care about their opinion, and still want their input for your life! Lets face it, our parents almost always know what to do!

#5 Cherish every moment, be kind!
You never know how much your words impact people. Things don't always go across to the person your talking to, the way you intended. You know how you replay things in your head that people have said to you before? Your family will be doing that, with the things you say before you leave! Don't prance around the house singing "your gonna miss me when I'm gone" It's not what you'd want them to remember you saying long term! "Let every word you say be edifying, and loving." . You want your family to know that you will miss them, and  you love them, no matter how much distance there  is between you. You are still their child, you still love your siblings.

I hope these have been helpful to you. Dont forget to call home, talk with your family! If you have any other questions, or want some advice, just leave a comment below :) !

1 Corinthians 13:11-13 : ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. ¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.